On "Manos": The Game

The Master approves!

The Master approves!

I love "Manos." I love the horrible family that stumbles upon the Valley Lodge. I love the young couple that spends the film drinking and making out in their American Car. I love the lazy, ineffectual police officers. I love the ludicrous fireplace. I love the terrible flea market painting of the Master. I love the flashlight. I love the moths. I love the Master, the Master's wives, and the Master's lovable hellhound. I love the editing, the dubbing, and the haunting soundtrack. And I love Torgo. Oh, how I love Torgo. 

I also love vintage games. Some of my earliest memories are of guiding a swarthy Italian plumber through a kingdom of mushrooms. My lifelong love affair with 2D platformers has survived more than twenty years of technological innovation and cultural swings, and I still find more joy in switching on my Retro-Duo and plowing through Super Mario Bros. 3 than in immersing myself in the latest and greatest ultra-realistic dragon slaying/hoarding simulation.

What I'm saying is, if there is a target audience for a "Manos" platformer, then I'm it.

Enter the Valley Loogie - er, Valley Lodge.

Enter the Valley Loogie - er, Valley Lodge.

When I heard about FreakZone Games's take on "Manos," my credit card leapt out of my wallet and demanded to be charged. Billed as an 80s-style platformer in the tradition of terrible film-to-game adaptations, "Manos" hit the App Store last night, and it's everything I hoped it would be. Despite being the mutant child of bad games and worse films, it's somehow a great platformer, and I've loved every minute of it so far.